Online Greenlight Review (2)

1 comment:

  1. OGR 20/11/2014

    Hi Beccy,

    I very much like those 'eco-style' buildings you've created. They actually feel very 'real world' and architectural - which is where I run into some difficulty with the giant mushrooms. It does feel to me as if your composition is a bit off in terms of emphasis - it seems a good deal more focused on those mushrooms, than it does on the settlement of structures lying within the valley itself. Likewise, that huge building seems less resolved and 'real world' than those smaller buildings, and this again is odd, because of the utter convincingness of the smaller elements. I don't quite understand it as structure as well as the others, and this as true of its production art/orthographs - it seems provisional still. My broad point is that the 'giant mushrooms' are a) working against the real word qualities of your best key assets (a fantastical world that isn't quite fantastical enough - or a realistic world that is challenged by those fantastical elements) and b) working against the sense of scale of your actual city. I'd just suggest revisiting your composition with this in mind and also working into some of your other key assets with equal elegance and design-savvy. I think too, I'd also observe, that perhaps you should consider emulating Harper's more graphical, 'flat' use of colour in terms of your entire world - think about moving his style into the very DNA of your world more so than you have; there is something very muddy and earthy about your palette, which perhaps works against Harper's characteristic vibrancy and 'cleanliness' of colour?